Step Ten

Ironically, reading a blog post today over at I Love Recovery (a great blog by another recovering woman) was the smack upside my head that I needed to remind myself that I haven't been working a daily tenth step for the last while. For those of you who haven't a clue what a tenth step is, it is:

We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

This is kind of the "keep your house clean" step. (Come to think of it, I haven't been keeping my real house very clean either.) Oh well, perhaps this reminder will give me the nudge I need to check in with myself on a more regular basis. It can't hurt. Especially since I found myself falling back into some crappy behaviour today. 

So here are the questions that I developed for my own Step Ten inventory, with today's answers:

Have I reaffirmed my faith in a loving, caring Higher Power today?
Not in any seriously tangible way, to be honest.

Have I sought out the guidance of my Higher Power today? How?
Nope, didn't manage to do this either.

What have I done to be of service to the people around me?
Shared with and listened to a friend who is going through a difficult time. 

What do I have to be grateful for today?
Everything, as usual.

Have any of my character defects been apparent in my life today? If so, which ones?

• Fear, lack of faith (no)
• Resentment (oh, yes indeed)
• Arrogance (um, yes to this one too)
• Self-doubt (no, too busy being arrogant)
• Lack of discipline (well, the frozen yogurt was sugar-free)
• Lack of self-awareness (good on this one, I knew my resentments were coming out)

Did I incorporate any of the following principles in my life (in place of any active defects)?

• Faith, trust (yes, I caught myself being a resentful snag and stopped, I know I can do better)
• Acceptance (I accept that going on and on in resentment is not attractive or healthy)
• Compassion (I have compassion for myself, and try to be compassionate for the person I resent)
• Humility (I am still learning, and know I have plenty more to learn. That is humility.)
• Self-love (Maybe tomorrow)
• Commitment (I'm working this darned step, aren't I?)
• Open-mindedness (I am open to change and to changing, today)

Do I owe any apologies or amends?
I apologized to my friend for taking the conversation where I did (a resentful rant on my part, not against her).

What have I done today about which I feel positive? Satisfied? What did I do today that I want to be sure to repeat?
I did manage to stop myself when I turned into a snarl-puss. That would be a good thing to repeat. 

How did I practice self-care today?

• Prayer (um, no)
• Meditation (um, nope)
• Right amount of working/busy-ness (yes, no working or busy-ness today)
• Mindful eating (pretty much, not positive if I needed the sugar-free frozen yogurt)
• Exercise and stretching (went for a fabulous walk)
• Mindful spending (I gave the girls the money for the frozen yogurt, otherwise spend-free day)
• Rest (I slept in until 8:00 am)
• Sleep (I am going to bed now, and it is only 9:30)

So there we have it. I`m not entirely proud of how I handled myself today. But I`ll do better tomorrow. 

I hope.