Showing posts with label attitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label attitude. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Onward and Upward

Being laid off can suck.

Or it can rock.

My experience is clearly turning out to be the latter. Having a severance package helps, of course. Getting laid off and losing pay and benefits would definitely fall in the *suck* category. I am extremely blessed. Not only do I have full pay and benefits for what seems like a long time, but I don't have to pay $140 a month for parking. I mean really, it's like I've been given a raise if you think about it.

Going to Mexico for three weeks just 11 days after I got axed also helped turn this into a pleasant experience. Having beach time to contemplate not only my navel but my future was a true gift. I have a lot to think about. A lot of different directions that I can move in. It is sometimes overwhelming. Anxiety-provoking. Freaky. Mostly, I am increasingly fascinated by the fact that knowing that my dreams likely will come true is at least a hundred times more scary than it was to think…that they probably would not.  

How fortuitous for me that just over a year ago at this time I hit the wall with some occupational (and life) burnout. (see previous post on Denial) How lucky for me that I was forced to do some deeper work to remind myself what I had previously learned once or a hundred times already in my not particularly short life - that what I *do* is not who I *am.* Definitely a good thing that I remembered that my fancy pants job did not define me before I lost the darned thing. 

It’s weird to be on the edge of this…whatever this is. I have been doing recovery for 24 years. In July it will be 25 years. I saw something written the other day that talked about how one day, things just finally start to come together, to integrate into something that finally starts to look like more of a whole. I recovered my brain with thirteen years of schooling, I am working on my physical realm through yoga (and today for the first time I did Zumba - it was fun but I think I broke my left cheek butt). My emotions are...emotional - just the way they are supposed to be. And my spirit - well this is a spiritual awakening like none other I have experienced. This is God or the Creator or Bugs Bunny telling me, yes Dawn – this is your time. Take it and do something extraordinary with it. 

Okay. I will try.

But first I am going back to Mexico for a month.

There really is nothing about being laid off that sucks.