I shit you not, embracing imperfection this year has been a blast.
And let me just say, I quite love that a few days of each year I get to pair gratitude with turkey. I love turkey as much if not more for the tradition as for the drumsticks.
Yesterday we had an unusually low key Thanksgiving Dinner (we are Canadian) at our house. Just Soul Mate (who cooks the turkey dinner every holiday since I can't cook worth a damn), First Born and Hockey Dude, and Yoga Kid and Soccer Guy. Dress code was extremely casual. I actually wore pyjama pants, and not because I planned to fill myself to bursting. Having given up sugar and wheat this past month, there was only one difficult moment for me as the pumpkin pie with whipped cream was passed around. This was clearly the first turkey dinner that I have eaten in five decades where I skipped the stuffing and the gravy. I was proud of myself for abstaining.
As much as last night was about the meal, it really wasn't just about the food. It was about the company. Highlights included getting the inside scoop from Hockey Dude on our local WHL (Western Hockey League) team - our newest obsession. And watching Soccer Guy experience his very first bite of pumpkin pie, ever. (He's from way far away). Teaching First Born how to crochet was fun (she calls it crotchet). And Yoga Kid, well - it's always amazing to watch this only vegetarian in the family enjoy a turnip and tomato dish that Soul Mate prepares just for her. There isn't a holiday that goes by that I don't think of the people who aren't here with us, of course. But I give thanks for them, wherever they are.
I have been through a lot this year, but it has been a kick ass year. I give thanks for my nervous breakthrough in February, and for the declaration from my oncologist last month that my cancer is "cured." I give thanks for my Dad's and my Parents-In-Law's continued good health, and for my healed relationship with my Baby Sister. For my nieces nephews, stepsons and grandchildrens' happiness. For all of our friends, old and new, far and near. I am thankful that I know more clearly today what my shortcomings are, and am more hopeful than ever that they will not always and forever make me miserable. I've overcome a few of them, lately. I am thankful for the profession that I am in, and for the one that I have, at least temporarily, let go. I am grateful for a therapist who has helped lead me back to myself, and even grateful for the situations at work that led me to the therapist. I may be a workaholic, but I am a recovering workaholic.
I am thankful that 99% of the crap that happens in my life these days, happens in that space between my ears called my head. It can be pretty awful, but there aren't too many witnesses to the worst of it. I figure that by this time next year, I'll have it down to 89%. I'm going to just keep on figuring out how to be okay, with just being okay. I'm amazing in some ways, or so I am told. I'll keep working on believing that too.
Life is good here. I hope it is where you are too.