Signposts Are Not to Be Ignored

I'm working extremely hard at not working too hard these days. It's going well, as I have noted in earlier posts. Still, it's really important that I remain ever vigilant or the addictive working tendency could easily come back. After all, I've only been back at work for three weeks, part-time.

Part of my vigilance routine is reading literature about work addiction/workaholism, busy-aholism. And so on.

The literature from Workaholics Anonymous is useful for anybody, and I mean anybody, who simply does not know how to relax. I've shared some of the great WA literature in earlier posts dated June 13th and  June 16th. Tonight I thought I would share the following "signposts" from Workaholics Anonymous. I find this material fascinating, personally. If I had known about and paid attention to these signposts earlier, I probably wouldn't have hit the wall quite so hard a few months back.

But now I know.

Signposts of Workaholism

1. We find it hard to love and accept ourselves. Work has become our means of gaining approval, finding our identity and justifying our existence.
2. We use work to escape our feelings. Thus, we deprive ourselves of knowing what we truly want and need.
3. By overworking, we neglect our health, relationships, recreation and spirituality. Even when we are not working, we are thinking of our next task. Most of our activities are work-related. We deny ourselves the enjoyment of a balanced and varied life.
4. We use work as a way to deal with the uncertainties of life. We lie awake worrying; we over-plan and over-organize. By being unwilling to surrender control, we lose our spontaneity, creativity and flexibility.
5. Many of us grew up in chaotic homes. Stress and intensity feel normal to us. We seek out these conditions in the workplace. We create crises and get adrenaline highs by overworking to resolve them. Then we suffer withdrawals and become anxious and depressed. Such mood swings destroy our peace of mind.
6. Work has become an addiction. We lie to ourselves and to others about the amount we do. We hoard work to insure that we will always be busy and never bored. We fear free time and vacations and find them painful instead of refreshing.
7. Instead of being a haven, our home is an extension of our workplace. Our family and friends often arrange their time with us around our work, vainly hoping we will finish it and then can be with them.
8. We make unreasonable demands upon ourselves. We aren't aware of any difference between job-imposed and self-imposed pressure. By over-scheduling our lives, we become driven, racing to beat the clock, fearful that we will get behind, and binge-work in order to catch up. Our attention is fragmented by trying to do several things at once. Our inability to pace ourselves leads to breakdown and burnout. We rob ourselves of the enjoyment of conclusion and rest.
9. We tend to be perfectionistic. We don't accept mistakes as part of being human and find it hard to ask for help. Because we believe no one can meet our standards, we have difficulty delegating and so do more than our share of the work. Thinking ourselves indispensable often prevents our progress. Unrealistic expectations often cheat us of contentment.
10. We tend to be over-serious and responsible. All activity must be purposeful. We find it hard to relax and just be; we feel guilty and restless when not working. Because we often work at our play, we rarely experience re-creation and renewal. We neglect our sense of humor and rarely enjoy the healing power of laughter.
11. Waiting is hard for us. We are more interested in results than process, in quantity than quality. Our impatience often distorts our work by not allowing it proper timing.
12. Many of us are concerned with image. We think that looking busy makes people think we are important and gains their admiration. By seeking others' approval of us, we lose ourselves.

(I took this from the Workaholics Anonymous website, but it originally appears as pages 7-8 in the W.A. Book of Recovery).

Twenty Questions

I thought it would be interesting to share the twenty questions that Workaholics Anonymous developed to help people who are wondering if they are indeed, workaholics. You can find these questions and other useful and interesting information on the Workaholics Anonymous website. Four months ago, when I first confronted my work addiction (well, it confronted me - in the form of a breakdown), I answered yes to 14 of these questions. I'm working hard to change my answers. I know that I can.

1. Do you get more excited about your work than about family or anything else?
2. Are there times when you can charge through your work and other times when you can't?
3. Do you take work with you to bed? On weekends? On vacation?
4. Is work the activity you like to do best and talk about most?
5. Do you work more than 40 hours a week?
6. Do you turn your hobbies into money-making ventures?
7. Do you take complete responsibility for the outcome of your work efforts?
8. Have your family or friends given up expecting you on time?
9. Do you take on extra work because you are concerned that it won't otherwise get done?
10. Do you underestimate how long a project will take and then rush to complete it?
11. Do you believe that it is okay to work long hours if you love what you are doing?
12. Do you get impatient with people who have other priorities besides work?
13. Are you afraid that if you don't work hard you will lose your job or be a failure?
14. Is the future a constant worry for you even when things are going very well?
15. Do you do things energetically and competitively including play?
16. Do you get irritated when people ask you to stop doing your work in order to do something else?
17. Have your long hours hurt your family or other relationships?
18. Do you think about your work while driving, falling asleep or when others are talking?
19. Do you work or read during meals?
20. Do you believe that more money will solve the other problems in your life?

If you answer "yes" to three or more of these questions you may be a workaholic. Relax. You are not alone. Many have found recovery through the tools of this fellowship. (Workaholics Anonymous)

Affirmations for Workaholics

I made it. To work, that is. Today was my first day back in the office after four months of time away. It was fine. I don't feel like the same person who left on stress leave back in February. I still have plenty of things to figure out about how to "be" at work, but I know with absolute certainty, that my attitude towards work is very, very different today. I like the people I work with a great deal, so it was great to see them all and chat or check in briefly with each of them. An office move during my absence has me moving into a "new" office. A clean slate. A pleasant irony for me, my new office used to belong to a dear friend and colleague who has since moved out of our organization. I miss her, always. (We really "got" each other). Over two years ago, she gave me a copy of the following book:

I thanked her for it, admitted that I probably did indeed have a problem with workaholism, read the first few pages in bed the night she gave me the book, and put it under my bed. It stayed there until quite recently. It is an amazing book, it's not just about workaholism, but would be useful for anyone who, like me, never really knew how to turn off being busy.

At this point in the game, I'm mining the book for pieces that will help me stay on track as I return to work. I'm quite loving a lot of the "affirmations" that are provided in the book. I think a lot of people might relate to some of them, not just us workaholics. So here they are, take what you like and leave the rest:

1. The less I struggle, the more open I am to inspiration. The more I take it easy, the more I accomplish.
2. My Higher Power wants me to realize my vision of joyful work and a balanced life and gives me whatever I need to achieve it at the right time.
3. I do everything easily and effortlessly.
4. My life is full and underscheduled.
5. I now receive full assistance and cooperation from all persons necessary for realizing my work vision. I attract only loving people.
6. The more I risk, the safer I am.
7. I am more effective by being more selective.
8. The more I play, the more God works.
9. I have time to spare and time to share. Time is my friend. When I take time, I make time.
10. My top priority is doing my being. Before I do anything, I first do nothing.
11. I draw to myself everything I need for a joyful balanced life.
12. My doing my right work strengthens all my relationships. My work brings me closer to those I love.
13. When I take time, I make time. The more I take my time, the more time I have to take. I don't have time not to have time.
14. I am entitled to my right work and deserve the enjoyment, recognition, and health that right work brings.
15. I live by divine appointment with broad margins.
16. I am still in the midst of activity and vibrantly alive in repose. I take an emergency leisurely.
17. The slower I go, the faster I grow.
18. Even when offered the best, I say no if I need rest. Rest is the best reward I can give myself.
19. My body is my friend and my temple. I bless and thank it daily and obey its signals.
20. Emotions are information. I honor their important messages.
21. I love myself no matter what. I'm perfect just the way I am. I am enough. I have enough. I do enough.
22. People bring me important messages (angels in my life) when I listen or meditate carefully.
23. I work to live, not live to work.

(Workaholics Anonymous Book of Recovery, pages 182, 183)

Aren't these awesome affirmations? I love them.